Knowing you have a tumour

When you are told that you have a brain tumour you may feel frightened, unreal, angry, numb, shocked. All these feelings are normal. Try not to bottle up your emotions. Talk to your family and your friends. They, too, will be upset to know that you have a serious illness. Together, by talking about it, you will support each other and gain strength.

Remember you are not to blame for your illness. It has not been caused by anything you have done, and you could not have prevented it.

Everybody will have their own special worries about their illness. You may have family worries, you may be a parent of young children, a student beginning a college course, looking after a dependent elderly parent, getting married,you may have concerns about driving your car or your job. It will seem as if the bottom is dropping out of your world. Talk to the professionals in the hospital, tell them about your personal worries and circumstances. They may be able to reassure you, and put you in touch with others who can help.

Remember that the professionals are there to help you.

Your Family

Telling your family about your illness

You will be upset at having to tell your husband, wife, children or a dependent parent about your illness. You may think that you should shield them and not tell them the truth. But try to be honest, explain that you are not well and will need treatment. Reassure them that there will be people to help you all. The social worker at the hospital, or the community nurse, may help you to break the news to your family if you feel that you cannot do it yourself and have not got a close relative or friend to help you.

Family worries

If you have children to look after, or an elderly parent, you may need to make arrangements for their care while you are in hospital and having your treatment. Always accept the help offered by family, friends and neighbours. They will want to help, so let them do your shopping, washing, ironing or fetching the children from school or do some cooking. Try not to make yourself over-tired and fraught by being too independent.

If you have children at school

Let your children's Head Teacher and Class Teacher know that you are ill and needing treatment. They will then understand and be able to help if your children are upset at school.

Driving your car

Sometimes a brain tumour will cause seizures or epilepsy. You may have already experienced these. Although seizures can be controlled by drugs, it would be dangerous for you and for other people if you drive your car. You should notify the DVLA (Swansea) and your car insurance company about your illness and you will have to give up your licence for at least a year. You will understandably feel upset and even angry about this. But remember that the rule is to protect you and other people from an accident if you should have a seizure when you are driving.

Employment.

If your work involves machinery you should tell your employers about your illness. This will be to protect you and other people if you feel unwell or have a seizure when operating machinery.

Your Feelings

When people are ill they often get tired and low. You may sometimes feel very sad, moody or even angry. This is normal. Your family, too, may have these feelings, because they are also tired and worried. Talk to each other about your feelings and try to accept them. Think of ways to help each other to cope with them. Your hospital may have a Support Group which you and your family can join. The group will help you to cope with some of the problems which your illness can bring. Hammer Out has a list of Brain Tumour Support Groups in the UK.

Try to set aside some part of your day when you can be quiet and have time to think. Having a brain tumour and needing hospital treatment can suddenly mean that you have little time for yourself. Your hospital appointments, meeting the staff at the hospital, friends and neighbours calling in, can mean that your life suddenly gets very busy and exhausting. Try to continue any quiet interests you had before your illness, such as listening to music, sewing, gardening, reading. It is important that your privacy does not get swallowed up by your illness.

Talk to your family doctor. A family doctor is there to advise and support you and your family. He will not be involved in your treatment, but the hospital doctors will keep him informed of your treatment and progress.